Liberals Have Cartman Syndrome

Occasional Liberal Outbursts Let Us Know What They're Really Thinking

Jan 04, 2022

In episode 8 of season 11 (“Le Petit Tourette”) Cartman discovers Tourette’s Syndrome and gets the idea to pretend he has Tourette’s Syndrome so he can say whatever he wants and not get in trouble. Because Cartman is a bigot and, simply, mean, he believes he has found the holy grail: unlimited inappropriate language with no consequences. He begins singing, “I’ve got a golden ticket…”

Cartman has his mom take him to the doctor to get medically diagnosed:

Cartman: “But what about school, doctor? The teachers. The principal. They won’t understand that I can’t control what I’m saying.”

Doctor: “Don’t worry, young man. We’ll make sure everyone understands your disease and gives you the compassion you deserve.”

Cartman: “Oh, that’s awesome. Thank you. F*ggot!”

Cartman is now at school:

Cartman: “Good morning, Principal Victoria. Sh*t balls!”

Principal Victoria: “Good morning, Eric.” (Principal Victoria then walks away without disciplining Cartman for his language)

In Mrs. Garrison’s class Cartman says many things that would normally get him in trouble, but Mrs. Garrison must accept his behavior. Then Cartman’s “friend,” Kyle, calls him an a**hole and Mr. Garrison yells at Kyle and tells him to watch his language. Kyle then tries to tell Principal Victoria that Cartman is faking. Kyle does this while Principal Victoria is talking to a Tourette’s Syndrome specialist. The specialist get’s angry at Kyle for suggesting that people with Tourette’s Syndrome are faking. Kyle is eventually forced to apologize to Cartman. Cartman is now bulletproof.

Cartman’s abuse of his non-existent syndrome continues to escalate. He wants a national audience, so he writes a letter to Chris Hansen and gets invited to go on Dateline. But then he starts uncontrollably saying things he doesn’t mean to say: “I wet my bed last night!” “I’m making this all up!” “One time my cousin and I touched wieners!” Cartman is concerned he has lost the ability to filter what he says.

Cartman didn’t have Tourette’s Syndrome, but he did have Cartman Syndrome. Liberals also have Cartman Syndrome. The Democrats claim to be the Party of Inclusion. They tell us they are compassionate, empathetic, moral and altruistic. In other words, they care, particularly about minorities and the poor. Since liberals “care,” they can get away with saying things that any rational person would laugh at. But you can’t criticize anything a liberal says because they are benevolent, which protects them from criticism the way Tourette’s Syndrome protected Cartman from discipline.

You are either a racist, sell out, sexist, homophobe, xenophobe, etc., etc. or you just don’t “care” or don’t “have a moral compass” if you don’t accept the following:

Birthing people have children, not just women
Humans are single gender
Current discrimination fixes past discrimination
The Revolutionary War was fought to preserve slavery
Parents should not have a say in their child’s education
Mathematics is racist
The government can make healthcare, education, daycare, etc. free

(Those are just a handful of examples; an hour of research would produce fifty more.)

However, the Party of Inclusion occasionally says/writes things that they wish they hadn’t. These outbursts fly in the face of their self-described “compassion” and “empathy.” Periodically liberals let us know how “inclusive” they are and how much they “care.” A recent example is Bette Midler’s tweet about the people of West Virginia: “He [Joe Manchin] wants us all to be just like his state, West Virginia. Poor, illiterate and strung out.” She also tweeted, “What #JoeManchin, who represents a population smaller than Brooklyn, has done to the rest of America, who wants to move forward, not backward, like his state, is horrible.” The latter is also a window into liberal reasoning. It doesn’t occur to Bette that Manchin voted against Build Back Better because he believes it was not going to move the country forward and that it was not what was best for West Virginia. Bette, like all liberals, believes she is right because she says she cares – there can be no downside to a policy that comes from the heart.

There are other examples of liberals accidentally telling the truth:

Nancy Pelosi, after the verdict in the Derek Chauvin trail, thanked George Floyd for sacrificing his life for justice. Her gratitude for Mr. Floyd’s nonconsensual death shows that she is interested in exploiting race for her benefit, or at least in this instance. It raises the question: how many liberals are interested in exploiting minorities instead of helping minorities?

Jonathan Gruber, an Obamacare architect, said selling Obamacare to the country took advantage of the lack of economic understanding of “stupid” Americans. The true costs of the bill could not be acknowledged, and the individual mandate could not be called a tax, which the Supreme Court ruled it was (after the ACA was law, of course). Gruber said the bill would not have passed if its financing and spending were understood. But the bill had to pass because it was what was best for the country, at least according to a Harvard grad, Obama, and an MIT professor, Gruber. The liberal mind tells them that if they’re smarter than “stupid” Americans, they can do whatever they want. Truth and transparency are kryptonite to liberal policies and liberals know it, so they have to lie, misrepresent and omit if they want their bills passed into law.

Hillary calling Trump supporters “deplorable.” In fairness to Hillary, it’s difficult to imagine any politician having a positive opinion of non-supporters. Neutral maybe, but not positive. But remember, Democrats are the Party of Inclusion. Democrats “care” and are “compassionate.” What we know is that liberal compassion and empathy only extend to supporters.

Joe Biden told Charlamagne tha God: “If you have a problem figuring out whether you're for me or Trump, then you ain't black.” Dr. Joe’s assessment presumes he knows what it means to be black. But the significant revelation of his comment is that he takes the black vote for granted. Dr. Joe was flustered because Charlamagne asked him relevant policy questions, which led to his dismissive comment. Liberals claim to care about minorities, particularly the black community, but Dr. Joe betrayed liberals’ true beliefs: black people are supposed to vote for Democrats and it’s bothersome when a black person doesn’t pencil whip the ballot.

Don Lemon, during the “defund the police” movement and associated increase in crime: “If you watch a certain state TV and you listen to conservative media, you would think that, you know, entire cities are just, you know, brawled and fights and fires and whatever. We went out had a great dinner in New York City tonight. People actually walked up to us and said, thank you for I watch you every night.” Lemon’s Cartman Syndrome flare up is less obvious but look at what he implied: if crime doesn’t affect him, it’s not a problem. If liberal one-percenters don’t experience negative effects, the effects either don’t exist or aren’t significant enough to worry about – certainly not enough to change policies or laws. These are the same liberal one-percenters who are fine with defunding the police and not prosecuting criminals. They don’t live in high-crime areas so the increase in crime won’t impact them. They live in low-crime, gated communities, their children go to private schools, they don’t take public transportation, and some have their own security detail.

Bernie Sanders defended Cuba because Castro’s regime taught people how to read. "(Castro) went out and they helped people learn to read and write. You know what, I think teaching people to read and write is a good thing,” said Bernie. Yes, Bernie, and the U.S. also taught people to read. Of course, there are far more Cubans that want to become American than Americans who want to become Cuban and it has nothing to do with literacy rates. Because Bernie is an unapologetic Marxist, he defended his comments. However, if he could go back to the 2020 primaries, he wouldn’t have said this. Even he realizes it is not yet acceptable to praise mass-murdering Marxists. Perhaps Bernie is ahead of his time.

My sources tell me that liberals have been frantically working on a cure for Cartman Syndrome, even spending more than they do on electing district attorneys that don’t prosecute crime. And the money saved by defunding police is actually going towards Cartman Syndrome research. Fortunately for me and conservatives, the cure has been elusive. Perhaps the virus is mutating. Maybe liberals thought Covid masks would stop Cartman Syndrome transmission, hence the demand for mask mandates. They thought wrong.

Liberals are obsessed with telling others how much they care. There are three benefits to the strategy. First, it convinces some people that the liberal is a good person. If someone believes you’re a good person, he is less likely to pay attention to what you are doing, a politician’s wet dream. Second, liberals say they care because it makes them feel like a good person. The liberal mind believes that good people, real or imagined, can only create good outcomes. Last, liberals get to say that dissenters don’t “care” the way liberals do. It doesn’t matter if liberal policy is counterproductive. If you don’t accept and comply, it proves you don’t care and, therefore, cannot create good outcomes.

What’s important to notice is that none of the above benefit the liberals’ target audience; all three are self-serving. Liberals have discovered that all the logic in the world gets its a** kicked by an ounce of emotion. They have discovered that society prefers a phony altruist to an authentic asshole and they exploit both of these truths to gain political power. Since they convince themselves that they care, they can justify lying, misrepresenting and omitting because the ends justify the means. Liberals believe we don’t know what’s best for us - they do. They know this because they care and because they think so little of “stupid” Americans.

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